Ratchets Taking Over for the 16 & 17

Is it just me, or does something about summer make you want to get ratchet? You know, do hoodrat stuff with your friends. One of my favorite things about summer is music. For me, songs that get released in the summer hold a lot more memories. I’m not sure, but maybe it’s because I had the privilege of growing up when BET and MTV still showed hour blocks of music videos, so half of my day was spent watching those. I recently found my iPod from high school, and you know what I realized? I was pretty ratchet. So since I equate summer with getting ratchet and music, why not create a personal ranking of my favorite ratchet-turn-up-anthems? Enjoy.

Criteria for the list:

In a sizable crowd, do at least half the people go “yaaaaaaaas” or show some other form of excitement when the song comes on and rush to the dance floor?
Does it have a great popular culture impact (AKA do your black, white, Puerto Rican, and Asian friends know this song and do you shame them if they don’t)?
Does it have a catchy (and often annoying and nonsensical) hook?
Do you almost break your volume dial turning this up when it comes on in the car?
Is a little (or a lot) misogynistic (le sigh)?

*For the sake of keeping it classy at Black Girls Who Use Urban Dictionary Enterprises, all song titles and lyrics will be censored*

11. “Wobble” – V.I.C. (2008)

It’s no secret that people absolutely love to do the wobble. Especially people over 30 at black family functions. It may seem shocking to most that it’s on my list, but “Wobble” is pretty ratchet. Masked by a line dance that’s easy and fun for all, the lyrics are super sexual. I never noticed this until the song became popular on the radio about three or four years after its initial release. V.I.C. brags about having chicks “shakin’ their boobies like congos,” having a “girl [tell him] that a man that could dance might could possibly get down with the tool in his pants, (oh, innuendo)” and asks “ladies [to] let me see you vibrate” and assures them that “when its over [they] ain’t gon’ need [they] vibrator.” And all of this is just in the first verse. That’s why I giggle when this gets played at middle school and junior high dances, and that’s the reason it’s on my list.

10. “Rock Yo Hips” – Crime Mob feat. Lil Scrappy (2006)

Anything involving Lil Scrappy is ratchet. Just turn to Vh1 right now and see what I’m talking about. The use of “Yo” in place of “your” in this title also adds to its ratchet appeal. However, you can’t help but get caught up in that catchy beat and “she rock her hips, then wave and sip” hook. Also, what girl doesn’t know Diamond’s “now I got 32 flavors of that bootylicious bubblegum” verse word for word? If you don’t, judging you! And don’t try to act like you didn’t Picnik your Facebook profile picture with Princess’ “top notch glamour chick” line, either.

9. “Right Thurr” – Chingy (2003)

Like the previous track, the spelling of this song aids in its ratchet appeal. Chingy was known for having alternative spellings for his songs, like “Holidae In” and “Dem Jeans,” but this one took the cake. When you think about it, though, every thing about Chingy was a little ratchet. His name was Chingy for goodness’ sake. Chingy bridged the gap between being ratchet and country, a gap that many southern folks like myself fall into. Chingy was cratchet, I suppose (new word, y’all!), so I really appreciated him. I keep talking about him in the past tense, because, where is Chingy? He never quite reached the same heights of success that he did during his Jackpot album era (and this is just my opinion, but 2007’s Fly Like Me featuring Amerie would’ve been a hit if it were released during this time) and was even the victim of a Twitter death hoax around 2011/2012. I miss him. Wherever you are, Chingy, come back!

8. “Shake Ya Tailfeather” – Nelly, P. Diddy, and Murphy Lee (2003)

The opening of this song is all people need to hear in order to get in formation to turn up. After all these years, I still don’t really know what they’re saying, but it’s like a call to action almost. Think the beginning of The Lion King when all the meerkats and stuff stand at attention when they’re being called to Simba’s presentation or whatever. A bit extreme of an example, but I think you get the point I’m trying to make here. This song is ratchet because the request is its title, for females to shake a tailfeather, which was basically 2003 slang for twerking, and nothing’s more ratchet than twerking. The song also works because it has some universal appeal. It was included on the Bad Boys II soundtrack, and the hook, “oh no! I heard them bad boys coming. Can’t stop now! Got to continue my running,” is catchy enough for even the guys to join in on, despite the fact that this is basically a song about twerking. Or maybe the guys enjoy shaking a tailfeather, too. I don’t know. I don’t judge.

7. “Clappers” – Wale feat. Nicki Minaj and Juicy J (2013)

The first time I heard Wale screaming, “shawty got a big ol’ butt, OH YEEEEEEAH,” during the chorus of this song, I thought, “what in the world is this?” Then, I realized it sounded vaguely familiar. Turns out that line is an interpolation of E.U.’s “Da Butt” which was released in 1988 and used in one of my favorite movies, Spike Lee’s School Daze, proof that black people have been making ratchet-turn-up-anthems for a minute now. Somewhere I got over my initial reaction, because one day found myself being able to rap Nicki’s verse perfectly line for line. I was disappointed, yet very excited with myself.

6. “Ayy Ladies” – Travis Porter (2012)

I’ve always had a weird affinity for Travis Porter. They (yes, they. If you aren’t accustomed to ratchet-turn-up-music, you’d probably think Travis Porter is a single person and not a group. The same way The Weeknd is a single person and not a group like you probably thought when you first heard of him) reached their peak greatness when I was in high school, which is consequently the same time I reached my peak ratchetness. The message behind this song is totally screwed and filthy, but when you hear, “If you a top notch ***** let me hear you holla!” it’s sadly instinct to turn up, even if you’re not one or don’t necessarily agree with the message. You also can’t help but be enticed by the hoodrats screaming “YEEEEAH,” throughout the chorus.

5. “Low” – Flo Rida feat. T-Pain (2007)

The object of Flo Rida’s affection in this song was wearing apple bottom jeans and boots with the fur. ‘Nough said.

4. “Pop That” – French Montana feat. Rick Ross, Drake, and Lil Wayne (2012)

This song was released during my freshman year of college, a time when my feminist values were in their early stages of settling in. When I first heard this song, I thought, “what is this? Who is enjoying this? Why in the world are they enjoying this?” But when you hear the Uncle Luke sample screaming “DON’T STOP POP THAT DON’T STOP POP THAT POP THAT POP THAT” over the chorus of this song 3-5 times on the radio everyday, it’ll make even the most sanctified person want to turn up.

3. “No Hands” – Waka Flocka Flame feat. Roscoe Dash and Wale (2010)

A few weeks ago, I tweeted that this song had the potential to dethrone number 1 on this list (scroll ahead if you wish) as the greatest ratchet-turn-up-anthem of all time. I still stand by that. When you hear “Listen to this track *****!,” you know it’s time to get ready to turn up. It has the same effect as the beginning of “Shake Ya Tailfeather.” If an “ayyyyyye!” doesn’t come out of your mouth when Roscoe Dash starts, “giiiiiirl drop it the floor….” something’s wrong with you.

2. “Get Low” – Lil Jon & the East Side Boyz feat. Ying Yang Twins (2003)

“Get Low” is so iconic on so many levels that I don’t even know what to include here. Like so many other songs on this list, intro is every thing. That “burumpobo” at the beginning is like Paul Revere’s shot heard around the world. You know what time it is when you hear it! And there’s so many memorable lines. “To the window, to the wall,” “let me see you get low (You scared! You scared!),” and, my personal favorite, “BACK, BACK, BACK IT UP!,” are just to name a few. This song introduced and defined the era of “crunk,” which was spearheaded by Lil Jon, that I was so fortunate to grow up in, never mind the fact that I had zero business listening to any of it at the time. The mid-2000s were the peak years of ratchetness. Oh, how I miss it.

1. “Back That Thang Up” – Juvenile feat. Mannie Fresh and Lil Wayne (1999)

I think there’s a general consensus when it comes to naming this song as the greatest ratchet-turn-up-anthem of all time. Just look at the weight it holds:

Even my sister agrees with this song’s placement on my list, and she deems anything turn up worthy as trash. Go listen to it for yourself and let me know your reaction after Juvenile starts with, “girl you working with some ***, yeah!” It’s also always fun listening to Lil Wayne in his pre auto-tune days.

Honorable Mention (Songs That Almost Made This List):

“How Low” – Ludacris
“Tootsie Roll” – 69 Boyz
“Laffy Taffy” – D4L
“Dance (***)” – Big Sean
Trina’s entire discography

X’s and O’s,

Change of Heart

“If we don’t stand up for our children, then we don’t stand for much.” – Marian Wright Edelman

Today marks one year since I started this blog. One of my earliest posts was all about my current journey to becoming a middle school teacher, as well as a list of all the other career aspirations I’ve had over the course of my 21-year-old life. A year ago, I was still a little skeptical about my chosen career path and future. I wasn’t even sure that I really wanted to teach. I didn’t feel that I could really do it. I still had this nagging sense that there was something else out there for me. Looking back, I realize that a year ago I almost viewed teaching as a “last-resort-I-need-a-major-that-will-get-me-a-job” type of thing. The fact that I felt all these things seems so scary to me now based on how far I’ve come since last March.

Today, coincidentally coinciding with the anniversary of this blog (and the almost-anniversary of the aforementioned post), myself and my fellow Internship I classmates attended a mandatory CMLA (Collegiate Middle Level Association) Conference on the campus of our university. We attended sessions concerning our chosen content areas, effective strategies to use with middle level learners, and a keynote presentation about “The Weird In-Between” AKA the middle school years. We also ate a lunch that included chicken fried steak as the entree. I typically think chicken fried steak is the worst kind of meat (which is practically blasphemous considering I’m southern), but it was absolutely delicious today! I don’t know. Maybe I was hungry.

Okay, enough about chicken. Back to middle school.

Today was absolutely great. All of us interns left talking about how we felt a sudden urge to change the world and to go and teach our hearts out right then and there. I know it sounds cheesy, but that’s what your purpose will do to you. That’s the keyword for this post: purpose. Since I started Internship I in January, I’ve steadily felt myself discovering my purpose more and more. It’s felt so dope, too! Every day I spend with my 5th graders, I realize more and more that I can be a teacher and that this is what I was meant to do. Today further cemented this reality for me.

One of the main things I noticed about my post from last March is that I seemed to have been very content focused. Language arts and social studies are my hearts. A year ago, those were my main motivators behind becoming a teacher. I had this whole golden idea of getting kids excited about those two subject areas. We were going to “learn! learn! learn!” while still having “fun! fun! fun!” While I still plan to implement this idea into my classroom, I quickly found out that there is way more to middle level education than just content and learning.

Any middle school expert will tell you that there is so much more to teaching adolescents than just teaching them. So much more. So, SO much more. Middle school teachers practically double as an educator and a counselor. There’s a stigma attached to working with middle school kids. Dealing with moody, hormonal adolescents is a daily challenge. Kids come into classrooms with a million different problems that we might never know anything about. They deal with tough stuff. Stuff that I never had to deal with when I was their age and stuff that I’ve still never dealt with now that I’m older. On the flip side of that, though, middle schoolers are sweet and loving. They want your attention and they want to please you. They’re funny! Well, 8th graders on the other hand…that’s another blog post for another day. But overall, this age group is amazing!

These kids are the center of education. My professors have always preached this, and I had this “yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it” attitude about it, but being in the actual classroom has truly allowed me to see this. I’ve always had a weird relationship with kids. I could take ’em or leave ’em. However, kids have always gravitated towards me for some reason, even though I’m not always the most welcoming towards them. Even my own hairstylist said she couldn’t believe I had chosen to be a teacher because she didn’t see me wanting to work with kids. Another stylist in the shop said, “Jessie, you like kids?!” All I could do was laugh. I do like kids. Kids over the age of 10. For some reason, I’ve always clicked well with adolescents. Maybe it’s because I share a lot of the same personality traits as middle schoolers. I don’t know. One of my instructors says you have to be a little bit crazy to teach middle school. I totally agree.

Given the way I view kids, I did not expect to fall in love with the students in my Internship classes as quickly as I did. Case in point: About two weeks in, my students were giving presentations over early “New World” explorers. As they were getting ready to present with their partners, one little girl said she was nervous. When I asked her why, she answered, “because I’m not smart.” This hit me right in my heart. I’m not an emotional person or a crier at all, but for some reason I was feeling extra emotional this morning. This child almost made me cry. This was the moment I realized I truly had a heart for these children and their well-being. I told her that she was not allowed to ever say that about herself again, especially when I was around. On a previous day, me and this same student had talked about how much we loved cheerleading and watching cheer competitions. She told me she knew how to do a round-off, which supremely impressed me because I used to spend hours trying to do those in my yard in my younger (and much thinner) days. I later wrote this girl a note, telling her that she was smart because she rocked her presentation AND knew how to do a round-off, showing her that she was not only smart, but talented, too. I saw her in the hallway later that day and she said, “I read the note” with a big smile. I’m glad it made both of us feel good.

I’ve connected with other students in my Internship classes who have given me the same”thwonk” feeling in my heart that she did. Being an educator is so much more than teaching kids their ABCs and 123s. It’s about getting to know and understand them in order to invest in them so that they can recognize and live up to their full potential. In that stupid post I did last year, I used the highly offensive phrase, “those who can’t, teach.” We need to change that to “those who can’t sit back and not have an impact on the lives of children, teach.” That was really bad, but you get the point I’m trying to make.

Today, I was a black girl who learned something without having to use Urban Dictionary. I learned, more specifically felt, purpose.

Jessie luh da kids!

X’s and O’s,

Rotten Reality

I fell in love with reality television when I was about ten years old. The show that did it for me was America’s Next Top Model. I never missed it for the world. This was during the time when ANTM aired prime time on Wednesday nights on UPN (which is now the CW), so I would set it to record on the VCR while my family attended midweek church services (you never realize how long ago 2004 was until you’re reminded that VCRs were still a pretty common household staple back then). Anyway, I watched America’s Next Top Model up until about the thirteenth or fourteenth cycle, when the glitz, glam, and drama of the modeling world became replaced by Tyra Banks’ crazy antics. But the show became a gateway into the world of reality TV for me, including (but certainly not limited to) shows like American Idol, The Real World, The Bachelor & The Bachelorette, Making the Band, and My Super Sweet 16. And I wouldn’t dare do a post about reality television without mentioning the holy grail itself, VH1’s Flavor of Love trilogy, which spawned subsequent shows like I Love New York, Rock of Love, Charm School, and Real Chance of Love (rest easy, Real), basically all the shows I had no business watching as a middle schooler.

Oh, but I watched and thoroughly enjoyed every second of them all! The best part about coming home from school used to be turning on MTV and watching their afternoon lineup of shows like Next, Room Raiders, Date My Mom, and Pimp My Ride. With the glory days of the 90s sitcom gone, my generation was left with nothing to watch but reality shows and teen dramas like One Tree Hill and The O.C. during the mid-2000s. In my mind back then, and still even a little bit now, all of these shows were great! But lately I’ve had this “meh” attitude towards reality TV because I don’t like what it’s doing to my people. Black people.

I’ve been a proponent for reality TV for as long as I can remember. I even gave a persuasive speech in my oral communications class during my freshman year of college about why more people should watch reality television. Here were my three reasons:

Reality TV makes people feel better about themselves. There’s something called the Jerry Springer Effect, which is a totally real thing because I used sources from Cornell University to back me up on it (holla!). The Jerry Springer Effect is what happens when people watch screwed up guests on shows like, you guessed it, Jerry Springer and Maury (pretty much any daytime “talk show” on FOX) and says “hey, I might have a crappy life, but at least I’m not as bad as these people making fools of themselves on national television.”
People are able to see themselves on reality TV. I used The Biggest Loser as my example here. For instance, overweight people watch other overweight people making life changes for the better and decide that they are going to do the same. This never quite worked on me, being that on the few occasions that I’ve watched The Biggest Loser I’ve done so with a snack and still remain overweight today, but I’m sure the show has motivated millions of other people.
Reality TV helps people accomplish their dreams. This is where shows like American Idol, Project Runway, and America’s Got Talent come into play. Normal everyday people go on TV and make their dreams come true. Now isn’t that inspiring?

I still watch a lot of reality TV today. If you follow me on Twitter, you know this from the unhealthy amounts of live tweeting I do every week. And I apologize for that (actually I don’t. Don’t like it? Unfollow me, bro!). However, my thoughts and opinions on reality TV have begun to negatively shift over recent years. Shows like 16 & Pregnant and Teen Mom are the worst. Yes, I was guilty of watching the first few seasons of both shows, and yes, it’s real life and should be depicted, but it just trips me out how MTV shifted from airing girls throwing sixteenth birthday parties to them birthing babies. And maybe it’s just me, but I feel like Americans have this weird fascination with teen pregnancy, even though it’s a very serious epidemic. We practically glamorize it. I’m guilty of this, too, though. That Lifetime movie from the 90s called Fifteen and Pregnant starring Kirsten Dunst? I’m right in front of the TV every time it comes on!

I could go on and on about the awful reality shows on television today, but the ones on VH1 are the absolute worst. I blame Flavor Flav. The incredible influence that all three seasons of Flavor of Love had on pop culture led to VH1 popping out a plethora of similar shows that I and so many of my fellow Americans sadly bought into. Flavor of Love has arguably opened up doors for current VH1 shows like Basketball Wives. As a huge NBA fan, I absolutely hate this show. It’s like the casting call flyer or whatever read “If you are the ex-wife of a retired semi-famous NBA player, have at least one baby by a third string shooting guard, or have just slept around with a lot of NBA players, come on down! We’ll hire you right away!” Oh my goodness, it’s so bad. Who are these women? Why should we be invested in their lives? What do they do for a living besides this show? Why, VH1? Why!? I’m so disappointed in you, Shaunie O’Neal.

One VH1 show that I’m guilty of indulging in, though, is Love and Hip Hop. I’ve never watched the original New York series, but I started watching it’s spin-off, Love and Hip Hop: Atlanta in 2012 after tweets by my Twitter followers made it sound so appealing. And it was. The drama was horribly scripted and laughable, yet I couldn’t stop watching. The love triangle between Stevie J, Joseline, and Mimi? Gold! But I only watched about three episodes of the second season before I decided I was done. Watching women argue over a grown man who’s stage name is “Scrappy” got old to me. Plus, by the time season two rolled around I was living in a college dorm and no longer had access to a DVR like I did at home, which made me less inclined to watch. Season two also interfered with Dancing With the Stars time (judge not, this was a really good season!), so one had to go. Love and Hip Hop easily lost that battle, but about a year and a half later I stumbled upon the franchise’s third installment, Love and Hip Hop: Hollywood. Because I had stopped watching a lot of VH1, I was completely unaware of this one. The first cast member I remember seeing was Lil Fizz, who I hadn’t heard anything about since B2K was still a thing. B2K was (arguably) my generation’s black version of *NSYNC. Being a self-proclaimed lifelong B2K fan meant that I was instantly hooked! I had all of these questions about Lil Fizz, like where had he been? Was B2K going to reunite on the show? Where was everyone else? I watched one episode, then two, then three, and that was it. I had to watch every week from then on out to see what new (fake) drama was occurring in Lil Fizz, Ray J, and Soulja Boy’s lives. I was sucked right back in like a vacuum. I’m convinced that Mona Scott Young (franchise producer) is the devil. Or maybe I’m just basic and easily persuaded. It’s probably both.

The latest reality show to truly dumbfound me has been The Westbrooks. The Westbrooks is BET’s latest original series about Instagram-famous India Westbrooks and her four Instagram-famous-as-well sisters. The show follows the sisters building their “brands.” I guess in 2015 the amount of likes you get on an Instagram selfie factors into your “brand,” because these girls do nothing but hang out with each other all day and take pictures to post on social media. They seriously have a TV show for having a lot of Instagram followers. Seriously. That’s it. They actually make the Kardashians look like hard workers. I watched the first two episodes of the show and the vapidity of it all caused me to lose brain cells.

That gets me to the heart of this post. When reality television and social media come together, it’s lethal. It seems like more and more people are being influenced by what they see on reality TV and social media. My Twitter and Instagram followers are predominately black. More and more, it seems as if we’re buying into other people’s ideas of success and popularity. I feel like there’s this growing trend where everyone wants to be rich, famous, and successful. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. I’m a super ambitious person myself and LOVE seeing that in other people. Let’s talk about our goals and dreams. Our plans. What motivates us. That’s a good conversation to me!

However, I’m beginning to notice that while everybody wants to be rich, nobody wants to put in the work. Everybody wants to be famous, but not everyone is talented enough to reach the certain levels of fame they want to obtain. Everybody wants to be a CEO, yet possess the work ethic of a window washer. How are you going to get rich? How are you going succeed? What are you doing to prepare for what you want?

I may be completely off base here, but I can’t help but see a slight correlation in the new found motives for black people’s success being linked to reality television. We’re being fed shows like Love & Hip Hop, The Westbrooks, and Real Housewives of Atlanta where black people are making all of this money and receiving all of this fame, but what work is really going into it? Successful black people on reality TV are the baby mamas of athletes, Instagram “celebrities,” and washed up music artists. These people make it look easy, living their “lives” in front of the camera for profit. Are these people our models of success? If so, we’re in big trouble. The successful black people I know in real life put in the work and grind hard for what they have. Why aren’t they on TV? That’s who we should be seeing. They should be our models of success.

During my freshman year of college, my oral communications class that I mentioned earlier was required to attend a lecture by NFL analyst Herm Edwards. Something he said that still sticks with me today was, “A goal without a plan is just a wish.” You want to be rich? Go for it. You want to famous? Great. You want to be successful? Perfect. What is your plan, though? What are your motives for success? What are you doing to prepare for it? Come back when you have an answer.

Take care of yourself,